Nothing Left to Lose
by emptyvessels
Summary: Katniss learns just how high the price of victory really is. Goes AU after The Hunger Games. Finnick x Katniss. M for later chapters.


**Summary:** Katniss learns just how high the price of victory really is. Goes AU after The Hunger Games.  
**A/N:** I do realize that there may already be stories out there with a similar premise, but I can promise you I'll be putting my own spin on this. I'm not used to writing Katniss at all, as I am so accustomed to writing Gadge stories, so I hope I do these characters justice. Dedicated my fab pal Devin. The Hunger Games is not mine.

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**Nothing Left to Lose**

Screams erupted through her body as if some supernatural force was ripping them from her, tearing the sounds out of her throat. She sobbed, her chest heaving violently.

_This is how it ends this is what the end is like it's over it's over it's over_, she thought incoherently.

Except the end never comes.

Instead, she awakes every morning, violated and desolate, to an empty room, the memory of the night before still fresh and vivid in her mind, the stale taste of foreign skin still in her mouth. The harsh sunlight always managed to peek through the curtains in spite of her best efforts to keep it out. The sun always shined in the Capitol and she hated it.

She wanted the rain back. She wanted grey skies and bitter air and violent thunder and lightning. She wanted the weather to match her insides.

Later Katniss would sit and watch from the sidelines – always from the sidelines these days; she's seen enough action up close and personal to last a life time or two. The soulless mass of hair and limbs eventually turns into a colorful blur and she can't tell if it's because she's been drinking too much or just tired.

This was the routine.

Without hesitation, she downed the rest of the contents in her current glass and set it to the side as she waited for whomever President Snow decided was the evening's highest bidder.

An uncomfortable presence took the empty seat next to hers. He was much too close for comfort. She could practically smell the alcohol on his breath. Or maybe that was hers…?

Either way, he wasn't welcome.

"Can I _help_ you?" She snapped with more sourness in her voice than she had intended.

"Not unless you're a bartender all of a sudden," he said, smiling as he turned to signal to the thin tattooed bar mistress on the other side of the counter. Katniss could live in the Capitol for the rest of her life and never understand the absurdity of their fashions.

"You don't seem to be enjoying yourself!" he shouted over the music. The bartender handed him his drinks.

Brilliant observation. She narrowed her eyes and turned her attention back to the crowd of people on the dance floor.

How did she even end up here? One day, she's just a child, swimming with her father in the woods and then he's gone and she's forced to face those woods alone, forced to be her family's protector and sole provider. And then she meets Gale and things are as okay as they were ever going to be, at least for a little while.

And then she had to go and win the stupid Hunger Games. She had to go and outsmart the gamemakers and make President Snow look like an idiot and end up here.

In the Capitol.

With people like Finnick Odair and the starving tattooed bar maiden.

A part of her hated herself for writing Finnick off so quickly – she didn't know the guy and really, he was just another pawn like her – but she couldn't help it. He was always gallivanting his way around the Capitol, bouncing from one club to the next as if his life depended on it while she was ushered around and advertised like a product, forced to sell herself to whoever happened to be the highest bidder.

She was their puppet, their own personal plaything. She had never felt so weak, so humiliated and vulnerable, and she _hated_ it.

Snow's words still resonated in her brain, fresh even though the first encounter had been months ago.

"There are certain people here, Miss Everdeen, people of great esteem and wealth that would benefit exceptionally from and truly appreciate your presence," he inched towards her. The scent of blood and roses made her stomach churn.

"If you refuse… well, I highly doubt you that will. Unless of course you want an accident to go off in those mines or, say, if something should happen to that younger sister of yours when she makes her rounds with that goat of hers. Are we clear, Miss Everdeen?"

Her voice caught as she tried to swallow. "Are you giving me a choice?" She indended to sound defiant but instead the words came out sounding small and defenseless.

"A choice?" He scoffed at her. "If you ask me, you've already been given plenty of those."

With that said, he was out of the room, his entourage dutifully following his lead. A middle aged man or woman, Katniss really couldn't tell, remained behind to go over Katniss' new "duties" and instruct her on how she would be expected to look, behave and, most importantly, perform.

Finnick's voice brought her back to the present. "Loosen up, Girl on Fire." His green eyes looked at her intently and she felt even more awkward and out of place. "If you can't turn it off," he pointed to the side of his head with one of the glasses, "you'll never survive."

And then he was off to find whoever had the good fortune of accompanying him there tonight. The tuneless rhythm suddenly thumped louder through the speakers in the wall and she was left to wait for her… companion, if you will. She couldn't help but wonder what deeper meaning those words held, or if they even meant anything more at all. After all, could she really take Finnick seriously?

Even so, she tried to take his advice and turn off her brain, but found it to be much easier said than done.

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Alright, so there's that! I promise to try updating regularly. In fact, I am already working on the second chapter! It's not great but I hope this has sparked your interest! Thanks for reading.


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